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My life today – April 2020

There’s five pets here now. Angel she’s a cross breed Chihuahua, Jack Russell for which I rescued from a puppy farm 14 years ago. Evie Blossom who is a Bichon Frise, Maltese, Chihuahua that a friend gave to me. I didn’t want another dog at the time, having just lost Foley (my little Tibetan Terrier) he was 21 and died in my arms 3 years ago. It turned out Evie was born on the same night and ironically enough, the same time too!  Although, it was already a tough period for me – losing Foley was excruciatingly painful. We went through just about every emotion together and he never let me down. Dogs don’t come out of the box ready made you have to work with them. The first few years are quite demanding. Now I have Buddy too. Buddy was a surprise. He’s 8 months old and is a Havana Silk. He belonged to my neighbours but with just having had a new baby and their rear yard not being secure, I adopted him from them.

Buddy is a male dog amongst two bitches. He has a lovely temperament and is playful. At night he’s no problem, he sleeps on the bed in a ball and is hugely content with his new life here. But during the day he wants to play lots. Which is perfect for a pup. However Evie and Angel aren’t so willing to join in sometimes. They are a pack, they all get along but Buddy could not be neutered last Friday as the vets are closed for business other than emergencies, due to the lock down. So having an alpha male alongside the bitches is not easy. It’s kept us busy to say the least. Without Buddy I would probably be focusing more on current affairs. But with a boisterous little soul there are many distractions. which are good. He is keeping us busy. Then, there’s my two cats. I will be honest. I am closest to the cats. They’re so funny. Chief and Tiger are twins and they are both 11 years of age – yet they look so different.

My son is now back home with us. He had to pop to Leeds to get some paperwork. He’s naturally concerned for the future. He is exceptionally logical and away from his comfort zone – as currently there is little logic in anything any of us are experiencing – in human terms, anyway. I will keep my spiritual thoughts to one side here.

I am hoping that science is trying to establish as many blood samples in their archive to see just how long corona virus has been carrying itself around on earth. Because for the future, anyone who dies who is carrying corona virus could mean, we never get out of lock down. We need to establish its history before we can determine the future, truthfully. There is without a doubt an epidemic pandemic/disease at bay with us. The plague, mad cows disease, bird flu etc etc, often we get a surge of something new. Many factors have tested our existence. And many more will, also. This is life. Life is an uncertainty. That is why I always wonder why we bother with wars when something like this can come along without much warning.

The Chinese culture will eat most things that move. Okay, I am not a fully fledged vegan. I treat myself to naturally farmed meat when I fancy it. But I know those animals graze and have a life beyond the way dogs are kept in some areas of the world. I don’t want to go into it. But I worked in the heart of rescue for many years as a volunteer and that coupled with homelessness and being a victim to social provocation and harassment, with money and fame being used to drive me sometimes, to a feeling of suicide, I had to get counselling. It was interesting as the counsellor told me that it was not me who needed therapy, but the two perpetrators. That I should invite to them a counselling session and let them explain their motives. But they would not meet to tell me to my face. They chose Twitter as an alternative – cowards play malicious mind games. I would often rely on social media to feel inclusive and share my news and videos. It was a waste of my years and I achieve a lot more face to face, it really does save time. And we have to try to avoid addiction with the internet. This wasn’t a moment, t went on for eight years. These could have been good times for me, and I will never get those years back.

It took a long inward battle to get through the harassment. I tried public retaliation but they screenshot it and sent it to rescues telling them to avoid me. I became a game in their lives, they were obsessed with me and my life. I didn’t care about any of the ego. I wanted to save animals as this was my only portal to give. I thrive when I am helping and most of the help went anonymously and it still does. There was nothing to be gained other than results for the animals. So really, I did succeed in helping as my objective was reached. Even though it nearly killed me, emotionally and morally as still to do this day I cannot believe or understand how far some people will go to destroy the good in others.

Yet, good things came in the future. I realise now that the people who are in my life are the ones I choose. That nobody should be taken for granted. Jealousy is a big problem in society. And those that don’t envy others are often the ones who get the wrath. This is because we are strong and although being em-paths we can move forward without guilt for the now. I want everyone to stay safe and well. In particular the children. They have their whole lives ahead of them. I have lit a candle for the children. Please spare the young. Spare all but especially the kids. They can’t die believing the world is this twisted. There are lovely people out there too and they are often the quiet ones. There are astounding artists out there. They are the future. I would say last year of the hundreds of guests who visited me at Golden Sands – most of them didn’t have their phones in the dining room and were not actually members on Facebook and the other platforms. This just shows that a certain type will sit there all day absorbing the algorithms and fake media, whilst a bigger majority aren’t bothered with any of it. TripAdvisor … all of it. I was busy and I ran a good business without needing the internet that much – other than the booking sites. But even then you soon get recommended word of mouth and a lot of my guests have my direct phone number and can text. Although I will say I never answer witheld numbers. Why would a person not want you to know who is ringing? It’s a form of bullying and cowardice. Leave us alone.

As for wanting a public platform. Think honestly. Who is out there now you would want to be? I’d struggle to answer that in any detail. I am a music fan. I like to listen. I never watch TV or the screen. I listen to Alexa and I listen to the radio. I am really into Vintage Cafe Jazz at the moment. We have it on through the night sometimes and it keeps the pets calm. I do Instagram for about half an hour each day because I love photography and it’s great for small businesses. People may not engage but they still see. I often watch quietly myself to source art or local supplies.

Really. God Bless All. God is a word that means to respect the good and light and to live with kindness. It is not a sin to say God Bless. Say anything as long as you mean it and come from good intention. Don’t look at the rubbish out there. It’s fake and mostly a way to spread hysteria. Try to wipe it out focusing instead with pictures and captions that make you feel happy. Avoid self centred narcisists. You don’t need their opinion or attitude. It is the last thing any of us could do with right now. It’s a great time for music. A great time to tune in. To be inspired by sound.

I am not into politics as I am too busy with this little world. But I am glad Jeremy Corbyn didn’t get into number 10, as I don’t want him being sick. I believe he is an activist and light worker and this doesn’t mean he should be a Prime Minister. He’s been through enough and it’s time for him to enjoy life with his family, friends and loved ones. The world needs his books and humanity and he will accomplish much more this way. In saying that, I want to send Boris Johnson well wishes as I do believe, despite me not being a fan of the conservatives in general (a couple of members revolt me in particular because of their down views on the working class) I believe that Boris does want to see change. Maybe this push will make him absorb the real people out there and this can be an education for him and some of his very weird party members, who may be out of touch with the real world. Everyone should be allowed to have a voice, whether they agree with your policies or not. This is a good time to hear them and to hear me, all of you. I am a socialist in the that I hate hierarchy and success is something we can share with those who really do deserve to do well in life. For the many. Not the few. If one good thing came from the dark period in my life it was to find others who felt the same.

It is sad that the self employed are victim here to such a big extent. People who want to work. Those who are trying to improve their journeys. And the disappointment of those who are chosen to lead the race, those who are not helping the working class enough. By that I could mean you? Are you doing enough with your time and money for those who also deserve a chance. And I remove myself from that equation. I have my loved ones near to me now. I will never push them away again. You can be eaten alive when you do stuff like that. I am with my loved ones both here and across the pond. I will never allow myself to be treated like that again. They need me too much.

Amen.

Tiff. X

#Diary #tiffanybelleharper